Wednesday, 6 November 2013

November 2013

I want to be remembered as someone that was there. I mean available. I love to create memories with my grand child.

I have read many posts recently about memories of loved ones that have now passed. I struggle with my memories, as I can't recall a lot of childhood memories with my grandparents, or cousins since I didn't spend a lot of time with them growing up. Both my parents relatives lived a distance away.

I hear of others recall memories of their childhood and the time they spent with others with gratitude. When I think back on my past I have feelings of sadness and missed opportunities. I look at my grand daughter and hope that she remembers the trips we took, the time we laughed playing silly games, reading stories and knows that it was time well spent and worth remembering.

I shed tears for the children that don't have memories of a happy childhood and for parents and grand parents that missed opportunities to laugh, live and be loved by the little people that surround them.

I made some changes in my life and the ones that share it with me.  I'm not struggling for acceptance, or to be needed. I've realized what's really important: happiness, friends and love. I've opened my heart for others to see that it doesn't take much to please me, just time with me and if you don't have time for me I will offer the same to you.

I want every relationship I have to be an investment. Investment in me, in the other person and in the future. I don't want to feel like it's an obligation to spend time together. It should be a shared experience that is welcomed by each party. There should be no struggle, no judgement, just free will of individuals enjoying each others time and space.

My plan for the future is to smile at the fact that I'm living each day for no more yesterdays and a billion tomorrows. The time and energy I spend with the people that surround me get what they give. If they give of their time, they will get the same back.

I can't give more of me than I have. I have to save some for myself and time for reflection. I thank you for your time and hope I get to spend more time with you in the future.

Friday, 30 August 2013

Sept 2013

Yeah, you noticed right? I haven't blogged in a while. I am pretty disappointed in myself, and yet trying really hard to keep in mind that when I first started this blog I wanted to make sure that what I wanted to share was going to be something people wanted to read.

My adventure and what was happening in my life was going to be something that I wanted to journal as a way of remembering and also as a way to include others that didn't participate on a regular basis.

I sometimes feel like I've lost touch with the people in my life that I thought I would always be close to, and yet I feel that if those people wanted to keep in touch with me, or want to stay connected to me that they would put the effort forth and that friendship and family would be a give and take type of relationship. I see now that it's not.

I have chose to remove certain people from my life and in the same respect people have chosen to remove themselves. I understand and feel nothing. I don't feel remorse, I don't feel sad, or angry. I am ok with that choice. I feel that if they don't have a connection or the need, desire or want to stay connected then they shouldn't be a part of my life.

I try to include everyone in what is happening and how I'm doing by being completely open. Some people don't understand that what I share I share with people that care and that show genuine concern with me and how I'm feeling. I appreciate those people that give me satisfaction in wanting to know how I am as well as to give a little of themselves which shows how they are in order for me to provide the best of me.

I do what I do cause it's best for me and me alone, I guess you could say I'm being selfish and no different than anyone else. I agree to a point and feel that when I include some people in my decisions I get the ho hummers and non deciders so I would just as soon make my own decisions and know that I am living my life the way I choose and that I don't have to wait for anyone else to decide for me.

I have been busy, and yet not so busy since the last time I blogged which as you can see has been January.  Let's see if I can catch everyone up on what's been happening.

Feb 2013 - attended a baby shower for SJ - Claudette's daughter, a wonderful friend of mine for many years (23 years in fact). SJ gave birth to a bouncing baby boy Aidan March 14th.

Attended the Tenors in Feb as well - OH MY what a truly inspiring and fantastic evening that was celebrating with my parent's, sister and brother in law, and friends.

Continued on with my Leadership Program as well in Feb - due to finish and graduate in June

March 2013 - attended my great niece and nephews birthday party at Millenium - took Isabella swimming and had tons of fun as always.

Also in March attended our annual scrapbooking session in Vegreville at a new scrapbooking store. Always a nice way to get away and catch up with family.

April 2013 - spent the easter weekend with both of my sisters, and enjoyed an easter egg hunt my my nephew and grand daughter out at the greenhouse.

May 2013 - had a great day cruisin on our first Yarn Shop out to Stony Plain, Spruce Grove, River City Yarns and back home. My sister and Isabella enjoyed the tour and a great lunch at museum.

May brings about the annual cattle drive at the Schrock's and also my nephews 18th birthday. Wow you know your old when...

June 2013 - another fun filled month of celebration -

After all my hard work I found myself enjoying a much deserved vacation. I was so thrilled to be able to get away with my sister and our friend to Abbotsford to attend a homeschool convention in the beginning of June. The only thing I missed was my daughter participating in the MS Bike Tour while I was away. Great Gramma got to babysit Isabella this time which was great as this was the first overnight for both of them. Glad everyone had a great time.

I graduated from the Leadership Program after 18 mths of sharing, growing and fullfilling a need to show that I am a person that can Model the Way, Inspire a Shared Vision, Challenge the Process, Enable Others to Act and Encourage the Heart. 5 models of behaviour to become a successful leader. 

The day after Grad at the Petroleum Club, I was able to take off to enjoy a much deserved vacation out at Stumpy to celebrate Grads, anniversaries, my sisters birthday and awesome fellowship with everyone that was able to come and stay for a day, weekend, week or whatever.

July - we enjoyed Canada Day celebration with my crazy friend Coreen, her daughters and grand children in Millwoods this year. It was a great festival of fireworks and live bands playing in the background.

July also brought about another celebration to attend my friends wedding anniversary. It was really sweet that the kids were able to share in the joy with Carrie and Kevin, friendship that has remained close for the last 20 years.

My baby David turned 23 in July - another wow moment I can't believe what a great young man he has turned into. I am still in awe when I am able to share these moments with my children that love spending time with their mama. What a great bunch of coconuts I did raise.

So now it's August - or what's left of it. Fall has arrived and it's time to start thinking about winter, going back to school (my grand daughter starts playschool) bahahahaha where has the last 4 years go.

Isabella has turned into this smart, truly free spirited child that has the gift to talk your ear off and such a delight to be able to enjoy everyday of my life. I am so blessed to have this time with her and would not trade a moment. I hope I get to continue to embrace the opportunity of experiences that she has to share with me and hope I am around for so many more.

Until we chat again, enjoy, today, forever and the days ahead.




Sunday, 13 January 2013

2013

So here I am once again. I want to start off by wrapping up the holidays, and I have to say was one of the better ones I enjoyed in the past. All my children joined me and even seeing my son was enjoyable knowing that there are some things you have no control over and need to accept some things are not going to change. <3 I'm ok. Not great, but just ok. I am still working out a few things and I know that I can talk about them, but I'm not ready too just yet and I'm not sure when I will be.
I loved spending time with mom and dad over the holidays it was great to just sit back and relax for the evening and it was really great to be able to share in their joy when they opened tickets to the Tenors in Feb that I bought as part of their anniversary/christmas/i love them gift.I decided to invite the both of them to a nice evening out with me and my friend Sandy who always joins me to the Jube...ends up that my sister, her husband and great friends Pam and Wes are joining us as well so it will be a great night. It was great that the whole family decided to surprise me with Mrs. Beasley (my long lost childhood friend). If there is anything about my childhood that I remember it would be her. I do agree that spending the holidays with family whether you like them or not is good for the soul.
Changes are happening at work that I'm still up in the air on whether they will be good changes or not so good changes. Organizational structure changes are sometimes a good thing when the people in the higher positions that are making the changes really think about the change, and make changes for the good. Other times when they change for the sake of change, it usually doesn't end up being that positive.
Plan for the next while is to try and stay postive with everything that is going on, and hopefully things will work out as they should.
January is turning out pretty well. I made my last car payment in December, so 2013 I'm focussing on payment down my credit card. I'm looking forward to more good times ahead.

Monday, 10 December 2012

December 2012

I know, I know, I'm posting and haven't posted since July. I don't know why. I do know why....I feeel like my blogs are the same...i have been so preoccupied with other things that I haven't taken the time as I should to dedicate to my blog. I apologize..this was really something that I wanted to keep up with at this stage of my life to keep me on track with the day to day things that were happening. I forget sometimes that life has a way of taking over and one day rolls into one week, one month, and so on. My plate really isn't that full, but my thoughts about other things that aren't important are taking over from what is really important. I'm hoping that 2013 will see me reflecting more on the "what's important to me".

So since July let's see if I can't recall what has been happening in my "busy" life. It seems the summer has come and gone with a flash. My dear friend lost her brother to cancer and it was a very hard time. Amanda volunteered for the Tour de Alberta and my nephew Noah rode 5km throughout Morinville and had an absolute blast.

August - went camping the long weekend - I think it was a family reunion in Athabasca, but because I'm just reading my calendar - that's all I had written down was camping...that's so sad I can't remember. I took a basic photography class as well and it was fun. I learned a few tricks and hopefully my picture taking will imporove a bit to take better pictures.

Sept - my birthday - and I happen to win free tickets to Roxette and Glass Tiger. I really wanted to bring my friend Pam along but circumstances and life changes prevented her from coming along. Still enrolled in my Leadership program and it's going really good. It really keeps me focussed when dealing with all the other stuff that seems to be taking over and I think I've handled things pretty well with how I am handling things.

October - I had really good intentions to go to the cattle drive - but just couldn't swing it this time around. I haven't taken a lot of holidays and it would've been really nice to connect with the great outdoors and see my sister and good friends "The Schrock's". October is always great being able to celebrate Isabella's birthday and halloween. This year the plan was to go to Galaxyland and wow - that was fun. Halloween the girls dressed up as pink and purple monsters and went trick or treating out in Morinville with great nana and papas.

November - SCRAPBOOKING weekend and at long last the start of my holidays. I was so ready to be away for a long stretch and it couldn't have come soon enough. I have never ever waited this long to use up the last of my vacation but it was so worth it. My daughter is planning her first trip to Mexico and I decided to use up the rest of my holidays and spend time with Isabella.

December - well here we are. The end of what seems to be another busy year.

Thursday, 5 July 2012

July 2012

I know you have heard it before...is it really the beginning of July...where do I begin. I guess where I left off. My last blog was March - so needless to say I'm a little behind. Or I'm so far behind if I turned around I would be first. I like that.

April updates -
So here we are once again - Things are coming together as they should. I'm having the time of my life. Work is busy, home life is busy and how can it not be with a most spectacular grand daughter that anyone could ask for. Isabella started Daycare and she is absolutely loving it. She gets to play games, and sing songs. She has caught this terrible cough and can't seem to shake it. She has gone to the doctors and that is all it is is just a cold, lungs are fine, and ears are good so just keep giving her cough syrup. Work has been super busy, with all the changes happening or should I say about to happen we have been trying to prepare for what is going to happen next. I have had a rough couple of weeks with my new staff causing issues when they found out they were reporting to me. Nothing had happened besides the fact that he told everyone I scare him and that there is no way that he can report to me and that someone should do something. So besides me he went to everyone else and let them know how he felt but didn't let them know that there wasn't anything that brought the issue on. So needless to say he was told that the way that he went about it was not the right way. He was to report to me end of story and that he needed to start behaving more appropriately. And now the fun begins - that is one staff - I'm supposed to get three more - Yippee. Hope the next ones don't scare that easily...buahhhhh - just kidding. It was my sisters birthday and I thought I would make a trip to the greenhouse and see if they needed any help. Alas, she was all caught up and wasn't up for company. Easter time with Isabella is always a hoot - Jesse went out and hid the eggs for little miss to go on a treasure hunt in the front yard. She enjoys finding treats and gets totally surprised when she realizes that there is something special inside. April was a busy time at work for me as I was moved over to a new office and started reporting to a new Manager (I have only had three in the last 5 years) so what's another one...Now I know when people hear the word busy - they sometimes say yeah I hear you - don't have to tell me about busy. I can't even begin to put into perspective the amount of work that me, a records technician and a Manager of the Records Program for a Dept the size of 7,800. But that's the way the world is currently and I have accepted that "today is a new day" and I need to deal with stuff as it comes. I can't worry about it, I can't get upset and I have to learn how to manage my staff. Some days are better than others and some days I don't know how I manage at all. I enjoy having support from my Manager this time around. It's great knowing that I can talk to her about anything and she is willing to be open and honest with me. The first phase of my Leadership course ended and now we go onto phase II and that is meeting with a new Team and we also get a Mentor to assist us in any challenges that we may have.

May updates -
Stars on Ice - please need I say more - my mom and my sister got to enjoy an evening of laughs, music and excellent entertainment from all of our favorite skaters. My daugther even managed to find a song from one of the performances and downloaded it for me. My nephew celebrated his 17th birthday...I know really I still don't believe that the kids are getting older and I'm still the same age. Isabella, Jesse, Amanda and I went to Sundre, AB and got to experience our first ever cattle drive YAHOO - was that ever fun. We are so blessed to have amazing friends like the Schrocks to allow us the opportunity to join in and help with chasing "tows" as Isabella calls them and enjoy in awesome fellowship. You can always count on laughter, peace and amazing eats when you are around such great people. I am almost overwhelmed when I have to leave the surroundings as I know I have never felt such comfort than when I get to spend time with them. I also got to ride the AB train to Big Valley. My aunt, her relatives and mom and dad enjoyed a day on the train from Stettler to Big Valley where we then were treated to an awesome meal and a tour around town and back on the train to Stettler. Definitely a do over. Attended a 3 day workshop for my leadership program and the new team I have is looking forward to the next 12 months of meeting and learning even more about the 5 behaviours - Enable others to Act, Encourage the Heart, Model the Way, Inspire a Shared Vision - and Challenge the Process

June updates -
so getting caught up now aren't I? My middle son turned 27 this year. I didn't call him on his birthday - I am still very sad when I think about how he decides to live his life absent from the rest of his family. I have accepted the fact that the many times we have reached out and tried to support him in whatever issues he may be facing, or maybe he isn't that he doesn't miss us or doesn't want to participate in the family things. I don't know if I would call it giving up or accepting the circumstances for what they are. I know I am the parent and that I shouldn't accept things for how they are - but I also think that he wanted to live differently he would choose to do so and hasn't so I need to accept things for how they are right now. June also brings about the celebration of another birthday my sister Lori and her birthday happens to be celebrated at Camp Stumpy - I almost feel like a kid going to Disneyland - I feel like it's my most favorite place to be. I teased Wes last time and I said "please can I have just a small block" I don't need much - just enough space for me and my little house - along the river - listening - surrounded by the peacefulness of being one with nature and yummo smelling whatever happens to cooking over the fire. My sister said it on her blog, next year I'm going for the whole 10 days. The end of June found us heading to Athabasca for a reunion with my dad's family. It was nice to see those that could show up and it was great to get a 5 generation pic with my Gma T. For soon to be 92 and hearing aids - wow is she ever feisty. There was a time she caught some of us a little off guard and told us to get off our heines (asses) and quit sitting around like a bunch of dead people..... wow - we jumped and said ok GMA and went in the pool....other than that - there was no competitive volleyball this year - and there was no interaction with anyone really - we all kind of picked our spot and visited with whoever happened to be beside us and others chose to sit at their own campers and didn't really do much of anything.

July updates - hopefully you won't have to wait three months...later

Friday, 30 March 2012

March 2012

Is it really the end of March - WOW is all I can say and where has the time gone. I know I've said that I've been busy - but really I have. My leadership course is really impressing me. I have really felt that I've expanded my mind and have opened up about life, work and how I feel about things. It has been a lot of looking within yourself and really taking a hard look at what kind of leader you want to be, have had experience with and negative and positive impacts.It's been great. Work has been busy too - getting settled in my new office, working with my new team, and getting familiar with the integration of the work. Got my 20 year recognition gift, a new camera, I have been wanting to take a photography course so that I can become better at taking pictures so our next Scrapbooking weekend I'll be able to have nicer pictures to show up.Was glad to visit with my parents after their return from their winter holiday. It was nice to see them and I even got a swimming trip with Isabella so they enjoyed spending time with her and couldn't believe how much she had changed. Celebrated my great niece and great nephews birthday in the beginning of the month - so it was nice since I hadn't seen anyone since Christmas. Thinking of heading to my sisters for Easter and her birthday and to help out in the greenhouse. So if I do I'll catch up everyone in April. Until then...toodles

Saturday, 10 March 2012

2012

Wow - if you think that I'm behind the 8 ball, you might be right. My original intention was to blog at the end of every month and low and behold I have noticed that I have missed a few months lately. My apologies and hopefully this new year I will get back on track. So let's see if we can play catch up.

December 2011 - had an excellent Christmas, vacation and spending time with family and friends.


January has come and gone and I don't think I really had a lot planned as my calendar looks pretty empty and I don't actually recall doing a whole lot worth writing about.

February 2012 - can you believe that it's already the second month and it won't be long it'll be over. I am so happy to have another scrap booking weekend in Feb so am looking forward to returning to Ft. Sask with my sister, mom, aunts and cousins - it's always a great time getting together with everyone and get some more pics in an album. Love being organized.


I am getting pretty good at managing the pictures and being able to accept the fact that I have way more pics of my grand daughter than I have of anything else - and that is just funny - but she is so photogenic that it is just so easy to snap, click and shoot. My parents are leaving on a well deserved vacation in Feb. My one sister is planning a vacation with her family as well so will stop in and see them while they are both enjoying the fun and sun. I have just began a Leadership challenge at work so will be busy working on that for the next 18 months.