New Beginnings

I want to be remembered as someone that was there. I mean available. I love to create memories with my grand child. I have read many posts recently about memories of loved ones that have now passed. I struggle with my memories, as I can't recall a lot of childhood memories with my grandparents, or cousins since I didn't spend a lot of time with them growing up. Both my parents relatives lived a distance away. I hear of others recall memories of their childhood and the time they spent with others with gratitude. When I think back on my past I have feelings of sadness and missed opportunities. I look at my grand daughter and hope that she remembers the trips we took, the time we laughed playing silly games, reading stories and knows that it was time well spent and worth remembering. I shed tears for the children that don't have memories of a happy childhood and for parents and grand parents that missed opportunities to laugh, live and be loved...

Yeah, you noticed right? I haven't blogged in a while. I am pretty disappointed in myself, and yet trying really hard to keep in mind that when I first started this blog I wanted to make sure that what I wanted to share was going to be something people wanted to read. My adventure and what was happening in my life was going to be something that I wanted to journal as a way of remembering and also as a way to include others that didn't participate on a regular basis. I sometimes feel like I've lost touch with the people in my life that I thought I would always be close to, and yet I feel that if those people wanted to keep in touch with me, or want to stay connected to me that they would put the effort forth and that friendship and family would be a give and take type of relationship. I see now that it's not. I have chose to remove certain people from my life and in the same respect people have chosen to remove themselves. I understand and feel nothing. I don't...

So here I am once again. I want to start off by wrapping up the holidays, and I have to say was one of the better ones I enjoyed in the past. All my children joined me and even seeing my son was enjoyable knowing that there are some things you have no control over and need to accept some things are not going to change. <3 I'm ok. Not great, but just ok. I am still working out a few things and I know that I can talk about them, but I'm not ready too just yet and I'm not sure when I will be. I loved spending time with mom and dad over the holidays it was great to just sit back and relax for the evening and it was really great to be able to share in their joy when they opened tickets to the Tenors in Feb that I bought as part of their anniversary/christmas/i love them gift.I decided to invite the both of them to a nice evening out with me and my friend Sandy who always joins me to the Jube...ends up that my sister, her husband and great friends Pam and Wes are joining us a...